Dear Maurice,
I know it's been a while but I want you to know that I haven't forgotten about our little deal. The transcripts have nearly been completed and I expect them to be delivered no later than this Friday, the 18th.
I really want you to know how much I've been sticking my neck out for you and your (respected) harlot. Mrs. Fingerbuttle asked me last night where you had gone after she phoned the anti-feminist corporation and you weren't there feeding the needy as she had thought you planned. I had to come up with an entirely elaborate story about how you were so moved by one of the poor feminist's plights that you had to spend the entire night scooping feces from her pet dog's bottom. She was incredibly moved and took you for a hero. No worries. For you.
Sincerely,
Brittlyn Buttumsfling
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